Sanjay V Sharma

Two Realities We have two realities in our life ; one is what others think about us? And the other is what we actually are? We need to make constant endeavor to connect to our real self - our inner core . This is a place where there is no hidden agenda, darkness, pretention, greed, selfishness, ambiguity and illusion. There is only light, tranquility, truth, peace, relaxation, gratitude and clarity.   We are, witnessing the worst mad rat race of our times, running after material possessions and in the process we are knowingly and unknowingly losing out on 1.      Peace of Mind ; Because of the perpetual anxiety to achieve our material goals, we are in a constant state of tension, a mental state marked by the absence of lightness and relaxation, causing us to feel irritated even at the slightest provocation. Need any evidence, just watch the traffic on the road and see how people express their growing frustration in the form of road rage culminating in heated e...

The Perpetual Complaint; Every now and then we come across people, who complain about not being able to achieve their goals. And if we are able to achieve our goal then very often it is at a very big cost to us , which we realize only once a lot of water has flown under the bridge.  Sometimes we ourselves have the same complaint. But the people, including us, who have this perpetual complaint, must understand the complete truth behind the mechanism of goal setting and goal achievement. Two Interrelated Concepts Regarding Goals ; while setting our goals we need to understand that a goal is something worthwhile we want to achieve and to achieve a goal we must engage in action that would make us achieve it.  We can see clearly that there are two interrelated concepts , the first concept relates to taking   a decision regarding something worthwhile, called a goal, which we want to achieve and the second concept relates to the action we take for achieving that goal...

A New Paradigm There is a saying that,"Bad habits are easy to form but difficult to break.” Whether this is true or not, depends upon what do we like to choose . We need to rewrite this old adage with a new paradigm , to be read as,"Bad habits are difficult to form but easy to break".   Factors Leading to this Paradigm Shift 1.      Nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come; Let's look at the factors which make this paradigm shift possible, but before doing this, it is only natural to make a note of the turn of events in the last century. We crawled from agriculture age to information age. It does not mean that technology & information exchange could have not thrived in the times of agriculture age, the same technology that works today could have generated the same results at that time as well, but can anybody tell why all this hi-tech revolution did not happen at the time when agriculture was supposed to be the main activity for any countr...

  Align Actual Self with Self Image We may have some self image of ourselves, this is the way we think about us, in reality this self image may or may not match with our actual self. Thus we must note that there are gaps between what we think we are and what we actually are, these gaps shall be referred as  DISA(Distortions In Self Appraisal), if Self Image is represented by SI, and Actual Self by AS , then we have DISA (Distortions in Self Appraisal) = SI (Self Image) - AS (Actual Self) DISA (Distortions in Self Appraisal)  happen because we love to see ourselves as what we aspire to be and not as what we actually are. Stop correcting others & Start Working on Self Improvement The real difference lies between those of us who are aware of these gaps and are constantly striving to uplift our  AS (Actual Self)  to match our  SI (Self Image) , and in the process raise the bar by setting up even higher standards of  S...

Behavior Stemming From Heavily Saturated Frustration Levels We see right through our lives, as well as in our day to day experiences, that most of us exhibit extremely self centered behavior in specific circumstances. Such behavior seems to stem from  heavily saturated frustration levels  , and has become a generally predictable outcome of behavior involving two or more people in any contentious social interaction.  Contentious Social Interactions Where Etiquette Is Sacrificed   Be it traffic jam on the road, competition for parking, cozy office environment requiring information exchange between colleagues, siblings competing for limited family resources, neighbors fighting over small privileges, and the list of instances goes on where etiquette is sacrificed. Self Reflection on the Level and Quality of "Life Skills Education" Is Required   Just a little bit of self reflection can make us aware  that our unkind behavior towards others cannot get justified ...

When we expect something from others , we hand over our control in their hands .In our day to day lives we come across instances which expose us to the vulnerability of human behavior, there are discords , disagreements and hot exchanges, when the expectations are not met. This behavioral anomaly can be overcome leading towards a reduction in showdowns and unpleasant exchanges, provided we set higher standards of self regulation & governance , where we constantly evaluate our thoughts and actions by answering these three questions 1.      Am I expecting something from others? 2.      How can I reduce this dependence on others? 3.      How can I become more self reliant? The answers to these questions can open doors towards newer possibilities and unexplored horizons. Reviewing our expectations from others can throw light on our deficiencies and cravings, but all humans are born equal and the deficiencies are a result of on...

In today’s fast paced life, what we see around us is a clutter of extreme behaviors emanating from the deeply embedded aspirations. It is very important to know our aspirations to check whether our own behavior is guided by the motives directed towards self aggrandizement. Whether we are moving on the road, living in our respective families, studying in a school or university, working in a corporation or involved in any other activity, we are always chasing something. there are three levels at which we have to validate our worldly pursuits, whether our Goals are in line with our Values Values are in line with the Natural Principles Behavior is in line with our Values , Goals & Natural Principles Once this validation is completed objectively then we will be able to see where are we going off the track and what changes in our behavior are required to meet the high performance standards we are expecting from ourselves. The most common forms of human reactions include hurt, anger,...

                        When interacting with others, most of us have this approach of taking others for granted. We generally are too obsessed with our own liking, disliking, goals, aspirations, plans, dreams and the list has no end. But this approach can only take us down the hill and pretty fast. It might seem that being self centered is in our long term interest but this is like viewing distorted reality.                        Anything that we feel is only for us , and under the influence of such thoughts if we go on antagonizing others around us, we are surely inviting trouble for ourselves. When that problem is going to surface?, this  is just a matter of time but it certainly would.                            The social approach of being considerate & kind , as well as adhering to th...

It is very strange to note that a large majority of us, are so engrossed in our personal activities & routines that we tend to overlook an important fact. We might feel that we are independent but the fact is that we can't run away from the day to day reality of mutual human interdependence & coexistence. It is worthwhile to note that the illusion of just trying to be the all in all of all our activities is futile, it can be a very hollowing experience adding to the grim and low in life, where as getting involved with the service oriented approach will not only help us in relieving our stress but will also lighten up our mood & relax our nervous, muscular-skeletal & cardiac systems for long term health gains. It also helps in setting up the right tone for others to emulate and pave the way for more humane approach and a life of consideration and properly imbibed etiquettes. Just imagine how would we behave if we are in the company of our close friends, family member...

When we are looking around us, we are amazed by the disproportionate allocation of resources done by nature. But the fact is each person is paying the price for gaining material prosperity. It may sound a bit harsh to the have-nots but the truth is the haves have paid adequate price for achieving their material wealth. It is like barter trade, you trade one possession to get another. Some- times people go after the mental peace and they lose their families, On the other hand there are some who go after their families and lose their mental peace.        It seems to be a very sad state of affairs but with experience you will realize that it is designed in this particular fashion, with passage of time it becomes clear that the passion we carried for so long becomes the source of deep pain and you no longer draw enjoyment by doing those same activities which once had fueled you with energy. This is so because everything including us is in a continuous state of change, bu...

                                                                 When you were born,you were in your original & pure form , as you had started a new journey.During this journey you took certain actions which affected your personality.There were certain influences, which were positive but there were negative influences as well. The positive influences were in line with the universal eternal truths and helped in creating & reinforcing your happy disposition , marked with optimism, creativity,hope,love, humility & gratitude , towards life.Where as negative influences though looked very attractive externally, but when imbibed led towards despondency, hatred, depression,anxiety,anger,rage,melancholy & anything but happiness.Thus you grew up as a mix of positive & negative influences,the ratio in which we exp...

                                     "For Every Action There Is An Equal and Opposite Reaction",this statement is known as Newton's Third Law of Motion .You may be wondering what this law has to do here, but we need to understand the application of this law to our day to day living to be able to take advantage of this truth.                                                     Consider observing what is happening around us, did you notice that most of the people are continuously reacting to the one thing or the other,this causes a lot of energy wastage because either we do not have our own agenda or we lose track of that agenda when we start reacting impulsively to the situation, circumstances and people around us.In most cases we can see that the day begins wit...

                                              It is quite an ironical truth,that all us are generally hurt by some one known to us, because our expectations are not met or when our faith and trust is broken.In that situation we go through a great amount of unbearable pain.                                                 When you feel let down by your loved ones, always look at your self and the whole world in terms of  our purpose of existence.Every body here is supposed to lead life with integrity in line with the universal eternal truths, consciously or unconsciously .                                                  We are in...

                                                            When you face challenges then there is a voice from with in that directs you to persist in the face of great difficulties.This is the strength which made many a great discoveries possible for mankind.When every thing goes against you this is the voice that acts as a torch to light up the path on which to advance.                                                   This guiding voice is stronger if you are living on the correct eternal truths in your life , this is ideal when you are 10 on 10 and any score closer to 10 is an indication of a stronger voice and the converse is also true.So the people who persist through challenges and emerge victorious have a str...