Thursday, November 28, 2013

Don't Wait For The Skies To Fall - Sky May Never Fall But You Can

A New Paradigm

There is a saying that,"Bad habits are easy to form but difficult to break.” Whether this is true or not, depends upon what do we like to choose. We need to rewrite this old adage with a new paradigm, to be read as,"Bad habits are difficult to form but easy to break".  




Factors Leading to this Paradigm Shift


1.     Nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come;


Let's look at the factors which make this paradigm shift possible, but before doing this, it is only natural to make a note of the turn of events in the last century. We crawled from agriculture age to information age. It does not mean that technology & information exchange could have not thrived in the times of agriculture age, the same technology that works today could have generated the same results at that time as well, but can anybody tell why all this hi-tech revolution did not happen at the time when agriculture was supposed to be the main activity for any country to progress and register its supremacy. The answer is that there is a right time for everything, yes that is it.

2.     Now it is possible to improve speed of action without compromising on the  overall quality;

In the earlier times, when this adage gained ground, the world used to move at a much slower pace as compared to its speed in the present times. Today we have instant quick fix solutions, a word of caution, what we are not encouraging here is “shortcut at the cost of quality”, on the contrary what we are saying here is that, the times have changed and now it is possible to improve speed of action without compromising on the overall quality. Take different examples such as communication speed between two distant locations improved from an initial, large number of months to an instant communication through telephone and internet connectivity in the present times, travel speed also improved from the pain of travelling for months to moving between two distant destinations in a lesser number of hours, this also applies to the medical advances, astronomy, etc., and the list goes on. In a nut shell we can say that there is no activity in our lives which has not evolved to be a fast paced affair defying all time constraints which were, until some time back considered as insurmountable challenges. Today anything which can be controlled by humans, has become increasingly fast paced with blurring, and in certain cases no, time lines, making our belief as the major determinant of our present and future possibilities. If the agriculture age people had only witnessed such instantaneous actions, then they themselves would have evolved the new paradigm. 

    3.Any scientific invention that is supporting our life styles today is only a          discovery & application of very firmly established universal eternal  truths:
If we agree with this statement than it is easier for us to know that if we also discover, if we have not yet done so, & apply the universal eternal truths to our own behavior than we can get the same revolutionary results. Just to elaborate the point, all the systems such as electricity, laptop, air-travel, etc, are operational & ready just waiting for our command to activate them, because these are installed on the scientific support systems , which in turn are based on the universal eternal truths eg; property of electrons, insulators/ conductors used, and the list goes on. Similarly if we are tuned into the universal eternal truths and our behaviors are geared up to match the agility of the support systems surrounding us, there is no doubt that we will be quick to action, with good habits as well as to avoid the bad habits.
We can clearly make out how far our behavior is consistent with our values, goals & purpose in life. With a robust grounding in the universal eternal truths our state of readiness will be our second nature and at that stage the new adage, "Bad habits are difficult to form but easy to break", will be only a natural extension of our genuine self.
5.     Taking out time to reflect on our lives to assess whether we are action oriented or not?
If we are action oriented, we just need to ensure that there is proper alignment with what is really important to us inlife. In case we lack action, we need to stop procrastinating and take action because delaying action is only going to get us further down the hill but the sky will retain its original position.

So take action now, only you can bring about that positive change in your life

God Bless
          Success N Synergy

Saturday, November 23, 2013

We Are Only What Others Perceive Us to Be


We may have some self image of ourselves, this is the way we think about us, in reality this self image may or may not match with our actual self. Thus we must note that there are gaps between what we think we are and what we actually are, these gaps shall be referred as DISA(Distortions In Self Appraisal), if Self Image is represented by SI, and Actual Self by AS , then we have


DISA (Distortions in Self Appraisal) = SI (Self Image) - AS (Actual Self)

DISA (Distortions in Self Appraisal) happen because we love to see ourselves as what we aspire to be and not as what we actually are.

The real difference lies between those of us who are aware of these gaps and are constantly striving to uplift our AS (Actual Self) to match our SI (Self Image), and in the process raise the bar by setting up even higher standards of SI (Self Image), this is where real growth happens. On the other hand there is another set of people amongst us who can't recognize or don't want to accept DISA(Distortions In Self Appraisal),there by not only blocking our own growth & development , but also resulting into stagnation and deterioration of our AS (Actual Self).This is a very critical and alarming situation , because those of us in this  latter category get so self obsessed that we start working on the assumptions that if we are not getting the desired results then there is something wrong only with the others involved in the situation  and we need to work on correcting others and there is no improvement required in our AS (Actual Self). 


Let’s Test Our Growth Potential
Let's take a simple test, to know to which category we belong, by answering these three simple questions
    1. Do we have an open mind to see the gaps between our SI (Self Image) & AS (Actual Self)
    2. Do we feel that we have the humility to accept our own shortcomings and the courage to bring about a change (read improvement) in our AS (Actual Self)?
    3. Do we have the tolerance to accept others with their mistakes, giving them space to learn from their mistakes and be a facilitator to their growth?
      Managing OP (Others' Perception)
      Let's understand whatever we do we are always viewed by others in the light of the perception formed in their minds regarding us. Thus the most vital part of all our social interactions is managing the perception of others around us. A word of caution, here we are not promoting deceiving, cheating or misrepresentation to achieve ulterior motives, on the contrary what we are saying is that we must keep trying with a genuine intent and an open heart, for others to appreciate our endeavor, thereby facilitating formation of a healthy perception regarding us in their minds.

      The Ideal Scenario
      In the end what matters is how others look at us, so the way we conduct ourselves is of supreme importance. The ideal scenario can be represented by

      SI (Self Image) = AS (Actual Self) = OP (Others' Perception)


      Major Challenges

      The three major challenges facing us all the time include
      2.     Working on our AS (Actual Self) to match our SI (Self Image) by bringing about the necessary improvements
      3.     Mastering each & every aspect of our social interactions to orchestrate the desirable OP(Others' Perception) , closely matching with our SI (Self Image)

      God Bless
          Success N Synergy


      Friday, November 22, 2013

      Don’t Ask, Just Give Proactively – For Building Lasting Success Through Emotional Intelligence

      Behavior Stemming From Heavily Saturated Frustration Levels
      We see right through our lives, as well as in our day to day experiences, that most of us exhibit extremely self centered behavior in specific circumstances. Such behavior seems to stem from heavily saturated frustration levels , and has become a generally predictable outcome of behavior involving two or more people in any contentious social interaction. 


      Be it traffic jam on the road, competition for parking, cozy office environment requiring information exchange between colleagues, siblings competing for limited family resources, neighbors fighting over small privileges, and the list of instances goes on where etiquette is sacrificed.

      Self Reflection on the Level and Quality of "Life Skills Education" Is Required 
      Just a little bit of self reflection can make us aware that our unkind behavior towards others cannot get justified under the cover of our own mistakes and incorrect living. Because the problem lies with our own choice of either not getting proper education, here by education we do not mean the formal school or college education but the life skills education, where we are taught to differentiate right from the wrong, ethical from the unethical, appropriate from the inappropriate, truth from the false, etc, .Teaching us about the two extremes, as well as the infinite number of choices falling in between. What we choose depends on the level and quality of our life skills education at that point in time, or our inability to apply the learning’s of the life skills education received due to our apathy or lack of correct understanding.

      The need of the hour is to get thoroughly absorbed in the realization that following the prescribed etiquettes is not only the necessity but a prerequisite on which any sustainable success can be founded. We all know that for every action there is equal and opposite reaction, if we can only apply this law in our own behavior we will soon realize we have a magic wand in our hands, meaning now we can program others to respond to us in a particular way. Let us say we want a smile from others, we need to offer a smile and a smile would come back to us. When we lose our cool and get angry on others we forget this law because of which we evoke the emotions of “getting angry” in the other person, it is as simple as that. So let us follow the wisdom before we can be happy , by keeping simple things simple and not complicating them by giving others what we do not want from them or to put it right "we must take care that we give others only what we would like to get from them".

      Preserve Energy to Move towards Our Respective Goals with Faster Speed
      It is very true that the prescribed etiquettes & manners are the end result of a very well thought out strategy to bring peace, harmony and civility in our society and success to the individuals following them. The degree of success directly proportional to the degree to which the etiquettes & manners are correctly followed Therefore it is very important to reflect on our day to day behavior and evaluate it against the acceptable prescribed standards of etiquettes & manners in each and every social interaction we encounter for harnessing the power of correct living to achieve happiness and bliss. This will open up new relaxation zone for us, where we would not only have support in our chosen endeavor from all the quarters but will also help preserve our energy to move towards our respective goals with faster speed. 

      Let's not wait for the others to evoke any type of response from us, but must take the initiative to proactively take control of our own behavior as well as leading by example for others to emulate, for achieving happiness and fulfillment in our lives.

      God Bless

      Success N Synergy


      Tuesday, November 19, 2013

      Expectations From Others Is The Problem & Self Less Service To Others Is The Solution

      When we expect something from others , we hand over our control in their hands .In our day to day lives we come across instances which expose us to the vulnerability of human behavior, there are discords , disagreements and hot exchanges, when the expectations are not met. This behavioral anomaly can be overcome leading towards a reduction in showdowns and unpleasant exchanges, provided we set higher standards of self regulation & governance, where we constantly evaluate our thoughts and actions by answering these three questions


      1.     Am I expecting something from others?
      2.     How can I reduce this dependence on others?
      3.     How can I become more self reliant?

      The answers to these questions can open doors towards newer possibilities and unexplored horizons.

      Reviewing our expectations from others can throw light on our deficiencies and cravings, but all humans are born equal and the deficiencies are a result of only our perception and distorted thought processes. This distortion can be corrected by realizing that there is a mistake in the formation of our mental makeup and correcting that mistake, it is much like changing a computer program and the moment a computer program is changed it starts generating a new output.

      As regards to cravings , this is a "must have" feeling and most of the time this is out of sync with our values, goals, purpose and universal eternal truths.Such cravings may appear to be very much within our reach and totally independent of others but such cravings set indirect expectations from others , which brings us back to the core issue of self governance & self regulation.

      So, how do we get rid of this seemingly unending tirade of unpleasant & unwanted behavioral clashes? The answer lies in leading a correct life, drawing the much needed higher energy levels and power from the invaluable internal support.

      God Bless

      Success N Synergy

        Sunday, November 17, 2013

        Instead Of Reacting To Others , Changing Yourself Can Provide Great Long Term Rewards

        In today’s fast paced life, what we see around us is a clutter of extreme behaviors emanating from the deeply embedded aspirations. It is very important to know our aspirations to check whether our own behavior is guided by the motives directed towards self aggrandizement.


        Whether we are moving on the road, living in our respective families, studying in a school or university, working in a corporation or involved in any other activity, we are always chasing something. there are three levels at which we have to validate our worldly pursuits, whether our
        1. Goals are in line with our Values
        2. Values are in line with the Natural Principles
        3. Behavior is in line with our Values , Goals & Natural Principles
        Once this validation is completed objectively then we will be able to see where are we going off the track and what changes in our behavior are required to meet the high performance standards we are expecting from ourselves.
        The most common forms of human reactions include hurt, anger, greed, lust, enmity, hatred, love, motivation, de-motivation, etc. The idea behind highlighting these behavior patterns is not to say that these are good or bad, but to drive home a point that most of the times, the way we think, feel & behave is not in line with our values, goals & natural principles. But our behavior is generally a reaction to something said or done to us by others.
        The correct path is to refrain from analyzing the behavior of other individuals because if we start doing this we will be doing a thankless job and that too at the cost of our own aspirations.
        Next time we need to check our own behavior to understand that whether our behavior is well thought of and in line with our chosen goals, values and natural principals or it is just a reaction to some one’s behavior who may not have any significant role in our scheme of things.
        So we need to remain on track without, losing focus and without falling prey to the insignificant advances by the people around us.

        God Bless

        Success N Synergy

        Friday, November 15, 2013

        Upgrade Your Behavior for Personal Growth & Prosperity

                                When interacting with others, most of us have this approach of taking others for granted. We generally are too obsessed with our own liking, disliking, goals, aspirations, plans, dreams and the list has no end. But this approach can only take us down the hill and pretty fast. It might seem that being self centered is in our long term interest but this is like viewing distorted reality. 


                              Anything that we feel is only for us , and under the influence of such thoughts if we go on antagonizing others around us, we are surely inviting trouble for ourselves. When that problem is going to surface?, this  is just a matter of time but it certainly would.
                                   The social approach of being considerate & kind , as well as adhering to the correct manners & etiquettes while dealing with others is probably the best way to mark our existence and any other way will surely have invisible pit holes , the existence of such pit holes is realized only when we experience their impact.
                                 If we feel that we are in possession of something which is right fully ours and there is someone who wants to take it from us, we need to examine the whole perspective of that individual as well as our own, before we decide the correct behavior on our part in that particular situation.

         So there are four factors to be considered
        1. Our right to possess that particular object
        2. The right of the other individual to get it
        3. A tradeoff between the two ,to see if there is a practical way to maintain a judicious balance between the two extremes
        4. Whether this approach will be appropriate or inappropriate behavior in the context of acceptable norms of correct etiquettes
        Such an approach will not only help our personal growth, but would also make us acceptable to the people around us. This acceptability is a tacit certification of our demonstrated leadership abilities.

        It is of utmost importance to grab good reading material on etiquette and keep practicing till it becomes our natural behavior; this is the only way to create great leaders & society

        God Bless

        Success N Synergy

        Thursday, November 14, 2013

        Don't Let Frustration of Others Affect Your Happiness

        It is very strange to note that a large majority of us, are so engrossed in our personal activities & routines that we tend to overlook an important fact. We might feel that we are independent but the fact is that we can't run away from the day to day reality of mutual human interdependence & coexistence.


        It is worthwhile to note that the illusion of just trying to be the all in all of all our activities is futile, it can be a very hollowing experience adding to the grim and low in life, where as getting involved with the service oriented approach will not only help us in relieving our stress but will also lighten up our mood & relax our nervous, muscular-skeletal & cardiac systems for long term health gains. It also helps in setting up the right tone for others to emulate and pave the way for more humane approach and a life of consideration and properly imbibed etiquettes.
        Just imagine how would we behave if we are in the company of our close friends, family members or other important persons in our life - yes we cannot afford to let go the protocol of etiquette .But what happens to us when there are total strangers around you, how can we become so casual in our approach in interacting with our fellow humans.
        This approach of freaking out and overlooking the normal standards of personal conduct builds up unhealthy stress for all concerned and the impact is the highest for the one at the origin of this practice. The originator is under high stress and often frustrated, because we can get only what we are giving out. If we give happiness, respect, love & consideration then these would multiply and come back to us in the long run but the sad part is that the converse is also true.
        It is the fact that the virtues that are getting forgotten have more actual value to them than what is often taught and understood by many.
        So the moral of the story is to do unto others what you expect others to do to you. There can be no better way to start than to grab a good book on correct manners and etiquettes, to begin afresh and be the ambassador of love, respect and tolerance. This I am sure will just be a beginning towards transforming the way of life for future generations by setting up and propelling a contagious culture of human coexistence.

        God Bless

        Success N Synergy

        Tuesday, November 12, 2013

        And You Thought You Were In Control

        When we are looking around us, we are amazed by the disproportionate allocation of resources done by nature. But the fact is each person is paying the price for gaining material prosperity. It may sound a bit harsh to the have-nots but the truth is the haves have paid adequate price for achieving their material wealth. It is like barter trade, you trade one possession to get another. Some- times people go after the mental peace and they lose their families, On the other hand there are some who go after their families and lose their mental peace.


               It seems to be a very sad state of affairs but with experience you will realize that it is designed in this particular fashion, with passage of time it becomes clear that the passion we carried for so long becomes the source of deep pain and you no longer draw enjoyment by doing those same activities which once had fueled you with energy. This is so because everything including us is in a continuous state of change, but there are certain things which never change. These unchanging elements are the unchanging wealth, and anyone who is in the possession of this wealth will get richer by the day, but this also comes at a price, the price may include false ego, material possessions, lust, greed & other worldly pursuits.
              It may sound as if we are preaching renunciation but this is not what we intend to do. We are only stressing on a point that it is important to note that anything we are craving for is only temporary and if we attach ourselves to it we have to go through the pain. The pain could be of separation or could be of a compromise to maintain the possession but this is a hard fact, so there is no perfect happiness that can be attributed to any form of material possession. Anything that gives us pleasure, gives us equal amount of pain and this realization alone can deliver us from the pain. This is what is known as Maya or illusion, this could be a simple situation where someone walking in scorching heat may be tempted to drink chilled water, but the act which was directed towards pleasure of quenching the thirst with the cold water now can result in ill health due to the abuse of the human body system. To counter the effect of these illusions we need emotional intelligence where, we although get attracted towards a glittering object but at the back of our mind we are also aware of the unhealthy consequences if we go ahead with that particular decision.
                Once this realization dawns on us then we can begin to differentiate between the things that we want to possess and are we really prepared to pay the required price in order to achieve the desired objects.    

        Take out time for self introspection each day 

        God Bless

        Success N Synergy